my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
