I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
