You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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