ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
