I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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