ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
