can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
