are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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