What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
