why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
