I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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