i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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