Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
