how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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