Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
