I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
