My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
