It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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