A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
