I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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