perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
