Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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