I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
