I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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