He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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