im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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