she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
