chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize