Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
