My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
