Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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