i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Plan B is the new Plan A
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
