Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
