I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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