There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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