Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize