dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
