I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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