Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
