After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
