His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
