I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
