:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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