we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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