I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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