My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
