I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize