Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
