Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
