Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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