Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
