he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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