who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize