Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
