He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize