apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
