i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
