Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
