I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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