Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My life is pants optional.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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