I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize