I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
