she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize