so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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