So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
