Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
