I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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