"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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