Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
