At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
