eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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