i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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