I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
