Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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