I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
