Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
