I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
