how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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