I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sorry about my life...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
