Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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