I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
