First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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