bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
